The Wrong Paths in Prayer

"Forgive me in those areas where I have failed you, and strengthen me further wherein I have served you well. Save me from complacency and smugness over my spiritual successes as much as despair and guilt over my spiritual failures..."
~ This Day; A Wesleyan Way of Prayer

This prayer that appeared in the devotional guide I'm using these days, articulates the struggle I find myself in quite frequently in my spiritual life. Richard Foster, in his wonderful book, Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home, talks about the different types of prayer. One is what he calls the "prayer of examen." Examen comes from the Latin word that refers to the tongue or weight indicator, on a balance scale, hence conveying the idea of an accurate assessment of the true situation. So this type of prayer is an honest, transparent self-examination. We pray, along with the Psalmist, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends me, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalms 139:23-24 NLT

This examination is something we can't do by ourselves. We fall off the path in one of two ways. One is to justify our attitudes, evade responsibility and rationalize our behavior. We are able to put up a strong defense against the truth about ourselves. But we are just as prone to wander astray in the other direction by engaging in self-flagellation. As Foster puts it, "If left to our own devices, it is so easy to take one look at who we truly are and declare ourselves unredeemable. Our damaged self-image votes against us, and we begin beating ourselves mercilessly." Foster, p. 29

There are times in my life of prayer when I veer off in one of those directions, and others when I stumble off in the other. But under God's searching, under the "scrutiny of love," we are able to both face the darkest truth about ourselves and at that very point experience sheer grace.

But we can't offer God who we hope or aspire to be, but who we actually are, including all our warts, flaws, and even deep stains. But that allows God to take who we are and transform us into who we wants us to be. May God join with me in this journey to keep me on that path.

Unimaginable Suffering

Ever since I received the first word of the earthquake in Haiti, I've been trying to assimilate the news. But I just can't wrap my mind around it. And my heart just keeps breaking. We still don't know the death toll. Images of front-end loaders loading up corpses to bury them in mass graves - a grotesque thought, but one made necessary in the fight to save the lives of those who remain. People injured and lacking medical supplies and care. People starving and without shelter. Children orphaned. It's just too much to take in.

Today I attended the funeral of a colleague of mine - a clergy member of the Southwest Texas Conference of the United Methodist Church, named Clint Rabb. He was about 10 years older than me. I first met him when he was a young UM minister and I was about a junior or senior in high school, way back in 1976. My memory is he was chaplain at Bexar County Jail in San Antonio at the time. Later in the 90's we served together in San Angelo. Since the late 90's he's served with the Board of Global Ministries, our United Methodist mission agency. He was in Port-au-Prince, Haiti for a meeting with other mission executives to strategize in how to be in mission with the people of Haiti. They had just entered the Montana Hotel there when the quake hit. They were very near the front desk when the whole building collapsed. Three of the men, all UM clergy, were trapped together, two of them with their legs hopelessly pinned. They were there for 55 hours until rescuers reached them. They sang the doxology as they heard the firefighters call to them to say they were going to get them out. One of them died before they could extricate him from the rubble. One escaped without serious injury. Clint was rescued, but died two days later in a Florida hospital from his injuries. I myself experienced the roller coaster of emotions when I learned he'd been there, that he was missing and feared dead, that he was discovered alive and rescued, but critically injured - that he would have one leg amputated below the knee and the other foot removed. I had just finished worship last Sunday where we had prayed for him and thanked God for his rescue and survival, when my wife called me while I was still at the church to tell me that she read that he'd died. I was stunned. This wasn't some stranger, this was a person I knew.

Certain aspects of the funeral were excruciating - hearing that story from his companion who survived, the tributes of his children, the lamentation of his widow. But it was also a marvelous blessing - gathering together with my brothers and sisters from across the church to grieve Clint's loss amidst such an ocean of loss, as well as to celebrate his life and ministry, the lives he touched, and even his acts of service to others right in the midst of their ordeal.

This tragedy, both the microcosm of Clint's death as well as the macrocosm of the tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of others who died (not to mention all the other suffering still going on there) raises all kinds of spiritual and theological questions. Why do some die and others live? Why do things like this happen? There is not enough space here for me to even begin to deal with many of those questions. And even if I did, any attempt of mine to do so, would fall far short.

But I do know this. Even in the midst of unspeakable human tragedy, God is present. I saw that today, both in what I heard of the event, and in the event of the funeral service itself. One of the bishops who spoke today read this text from Lamentations 3:19-21 (Message):

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all - oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom.

But there's one other thing.....I remember,

and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great is your faithfulness!

He had us repeat the phrase "I keep a grip on hope." That is our prayer - for God to help us "keep a grip on hope" - our prayer for ourselves and for the people of Haiti.

Sleepwalking

One of the common themes of Advent is the contrast between light and dark, between being aware and being "in the dark," regarding the things of God and God's coming future. One passage I was reading lately in my devotional time really caught my attention, particularly as its rendered in The Message version: "You're sons of Light and daughters of Day...so let's not sleepwalk through life like those others...." (1 Thessalonians 5:5-6).

I thought about this as I was going about my business during the day, particularly in places in my own community or a nearby larger city, observing those around me. I see people of all ages, races, stations in life. I see families with their children or spouses. And they are very much attentive to their endeavors, whether it's shopping, eating, or some other activity. But I wonder if they're oblivious to God, to God's desire to be in relationship with them, and to what God is doing in the world. Even though they seem very alert, I wonder if they're "sleepwalking," oblivious to the life God wants for them. What such thoughts or musings arouse in me regarding them is not judgment or disapproval, but rather sadness - sadness at what they're missing out on. My prayer is for God to help me to try to look at them through His eyes. And when I succeed at that, even just a little, my heart breaks. The same passage of Scripture admonishes us who live as disciples of Jesus Christ to be alert, to keep our eyes open. The main thrust is to keep our eyes open to what God is doing in the world. But it occurs to me that often we Christians are so caught up in our own agendas and ideas of what we think God is doing that we become oblivious to those around us, particularly those who don't know God. It's as if we ourselves are sleepwalking through life, not noticing the hurting people around us (even when their hurting isn't obvious - even to them).

I believe one of the things God wants me to be alert about and "wake up" to is to those people He has placed around me to love and reach out to with His love. In verse 11, we are called upon to encourage those around us and endeavor that "no one is left out, no one left behind." I believe that is God's heart. Let it be our heart, too, especially this Advent.

Offering Thanksgiving to ??

It seems hard to believe that it's already the week of Thanksgiving. This is a unique holiday, in that it's unique to our country. It's a time when we celebrate by eating (of course!), gathering with family, and pausing to give thanks for all the blessings we enjoy. There's usually some football in there somewhere, too.

I was thinking about Thanksgiving this past week (actually a little more than usual since I was on tap to preach at our community Thanksgiving worship service!), when I read an interesting article about atheists becoming more of a presence on college and university campuses.

Even though most of us would probably view college campuses as places where a lack of belief in God has not been hard to find - or maybe it's the actual practice of faith that's so hard to find. I've known a number of people over the years who have found college campuses a rather hostile place for Christian faith, particularly the secular institutions. For a long time there have been campus religious organizations like Campus Crusade for Christ, Intervarsity Christian Fellowship as well as denominational organizations like Baptist Student Unions, Catholic organizations, Wesley Foundations, etc. And, of course, as the religious landscape has become more diverse, you have groups for people of other religions like Jewish and Muslim groups, for example.

But now there are arising organized atheist groups like Secular Student Alliance, Atheist & Agnostic Society, etc. These groups have the same discussion groups, cookouts, fellowships, movie nights, etc., but for those who share in common a lack of belief in God. Why should believers have all the fun? And some of these groups even celebrate rituals. A group on one campus celebrates "HumanLight, a secular alternative to Christmas and Hanukkah."

That got me to thinking, how does an atheist celebrate Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving has as an inherent part of it (at least for me as a follower of Christ) giving thanks to someone - to God. But when you don't believe there is a God, to whom do you offer your thanks? Doesn't there have to be somebody to thank? Now I'm not so naive so as not to realize that there plenty of folks around who may have some nominal belief in God but don't really have any kind of relationship with God, and for whom Thanksgiving is just a nice holiday to not have to go to work and to spend with family enjoying a nice meal. Come to think of it, there are plenty of people who attend church who really aren't much into worshipping God, but are there to see other people (or in some cases to be seen), to enjoy the music or an interesting sermon (at least on occasion). Some even appear to come for the purpose of analyzing closely what takes place so they might find something to complain about.

I plan to enjoy the food, the fellowship (the time off!), but I also plan to reflect on my blessings and offer thanks to the God from whom I believe I receive all of them.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Social Networking

After contemplating it for a long time, I finally signed up for Facebook a couple of weeks ago. There has been a lot of buzz about this phenomenon called "social networking." Like many things, trends like this, particularly related to new technology, have elicited a wide variety of responses. Some have become so consumed with it that they spend hours on Facebook, looking at pictures, reading "status updates," and playing all kinds of games. I've read articles about people who have sworn off of FB because they became addicted to it. Others decry it as unhealthy in that a person's time and energy is consumed in "relationships" with "friends" they really don't know at all and have no real relationship. Since I've gotten on FB, I've been annoyed by all the games and other "apps" that you continually being invited to play. Thankfully, you can "hide" them.

For some time, I've noticed that Facebook is the main way that my own young adult children keep in touch with friends, etc. With them, email is almost obsolete - like "snail-mail," something they use to communicate with old people like their parents and grandparents. They send Facebook messages (very much like email). I also was drawn to finally get on Facebook to provide an easy way to share photos with others without having to send emails with huge memory hog files.

Then I realized that as a member of a United Methodist clergy community spread out over all of Southwest Texas, it's an effective way of keeping up with people. Several times in the last couple of months, I have been talking to a colleague who has informed me of some happening in the life of one of our fellow pastors, and I asked, "Where did you hear about that?" and they said, "Facebook."

So I took the plunge (not before I had my 24 yr old daughter who is a FB veteran show me how to set it up with all the appropriate settings). What I've enjoyed and been amazed by is being able to connect with old friends and distant (particularly geographically distant) family. I was amazed that within a few days, I had become Facebook "friends" with almost 100 classmates, colleagues, former parishioners, old friends, as well as people in my new community (particularly youth and young adults). I have my "friends" divided into several lists: clergy colleagues, seminary classmates, college classmates, high school classmates, former parishioners, local friends, and family. I now have over 200 "friends," all people I have known in one place or another in my life's journey. I have heard from people I haven't talked to or been in touch with for years.

One remarkable development is that there was this little girl who was my good friend in 1st and 2nd grade - really my "girlfriend" (as much as one could have at that stage of life) who moved away out of state after 2nd grade, which for us was over 40 years ago. For years while I was still in school in junior high and high school, I alway wondered what became of her, and what her life was like as we grew older. Once the internet came around, I even did Google searches a couple of times to see if I could find her, but to no avail. But once I got on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, I searched for her by her maiden name (which was wasn't that common) and found about a half dozen people. I could tell from the pictures that most of them were young women, but one woman looked to be about the right age, and I actually thought it might look like her. I sent her a message and asked her, "I don't suppose you are the (name) who I went to elementary school in Burnet, TX in the mid 1960's? I was good friends with a girl by that name who moved away after 2nd grade....." Lo and behold, I received a "friend request" in just a few hours and then a message that said, "Yes, I am! And I remember my friend Jay in Mrs. Kroeger's class." She commented that I was the only person she remembered from way back then other than our teachers. Then to make things even more strange - she's the wife of a pastor! I thought, "This is amazing!"

As an itinerant United Methodist pastor, one of the difficult things is you move. It's hard to leave people that you know and love in order to move to a new place to form new relationships. But that's also one of the blessings. I think back of all the rich relationships I've had with people in various places throughout the years, not only in the churches and communities in which I've lived and served, but in college, seminary, and from childhood. Social networking, while not a substitute for real relationships, does provide a wonderful way to reconnect with old friends, dear people I have known in my journey; people with whom I have had a real relationship and probably wouldn't be in touch with now if it weren't for Facebook.

Just don't ask me to play "Mafia Wars," etc. I don't have time for that. I do have time to connect with people about their lives and to renew old friendships.

21st Century Christians? (Part 2)

It's been longer than I'd planned to write this second installment of this topic, but here goes:

Another of the ways the church needs to come on into the 21st century is in our use of the internet, websites and electronic communication. One of the things we're doing right now in our church is sending out our church's monthly newsletter electronically to those who are willing to receive it that way. So we have reduced the number of those sent by snail-mail by 30%. We estimate that this saves as much as $100 a month in postage, paper, etc. And not only is it more cost effective and less wasteful (and less impact on the environment), but it also allows us to use more color, better quality photos, etc.

Another way I've become convinced we need to fully utilize is providing a way for people to give money, to make financial contributions to the church online. I read an article a year or two ago (I can't remember the publication) that indicated that in 10 years, paper bank checks will be obsolete. And yet how does the church receive almost all of its contributions? By paper bank check. So the main way we receive revenue will disappear in perhaps a decade. This alone is reason to provide the option for people to give electronically. In the community in which I now live and serve, I have noticed myself at least half a dozen businesses that have within the last six months posted a sign that says "We no longer accept checks - only cash or debit/credit cards."

A perhaps even more significant reason to provide electronic and internet based giving is demographic. One of the struggles that all churches deal with is developing younger people as givers. And I've talked to many people of this generation (under 40), who don't EVER write checks. They pay bills, make purchases, etc. online, using a debit or credit card, or in some cases, a direct transfer from their bank account initiated on the web. So how are we to expect them to give if we don't allow them to do so in the manner in which they live their lives financially?

I was talking to a friend of mine recently who work in the area of stewardship for the church (a man in his 60's or so) who said he was rather uncomfortable with the notion of giving by credict card, and was quite disapproving when he saw a card swipe machine in a church narthex. He was mentioning this to a friend of his who is about the same age or maybe a bit older and the friend commented: "You know, early in the 20th century churches had to make the controversial decsion to start accepting checks. Up till then, they only received cash for contributions. And church leaders at the time objected or raised concerns about that. 'What if people don't have the money in their accounts to cover the bank note?' This is really no different than that." Of course, every church I have served has had the experience regularly of having contribution checks bounce or returned for insufficient funds.

In talking to some churches that have been receiving contributions online from credit cards for a few years have told me that the people who utilize this method of giving aren't those who struggle with debt. They are people who tend to pay of their cards every month and use them for convienience or for points/miles, etc.

Lastly, enabling people to "click to give" on the church's website increases traffic on the website. At the same time, people who frequent the website are more likely to give if they can do so easily. Other possibilities include providing for folks to register for camps, banquets, and other events and pay for their tickets, registration, etc. right there and the church office avoids the hassle of trying to collect for those things, determining who's paid and who hasn't, etc. (That alone seems a great reason to explore this!).

This issue is another application of something I heard Dr. George Hunter say in a conference a few years ago: "The church is poised and ready for the 1950's. Should they ever come around again, we'll be ready!"

21st Century Christians? (Part 1)

A number of years ago, I began using a Palm or PDA (Personal Digital Assistant) as an organizer. I have never done well with paper calendars, to-do lists, etc. Neither do I do well with paper files, etc. I have pretty much transitioned all those things to digital formats - my calendar, my address book, my task lists, goals, etc. I can "sync" my PDA with my computer and have everything - my calendar, etc. on both my computer and PDA - with no paper. And I can keep all that information up to date and backed up quite easily. I've often told people who try to give me a piece of paper or document of some kind, "Do you have that on your computer? If so, keep that paper and then send me an email with the document attached." That way I can keep up with it digitally, which works much better for me than paper.

Just a few years ago, I went from using both a cell phone and PDA to using a "smartphone," which is a Palm device that is both a phone and PDA. That way I could enter information into my address book with phone numbers, email addresses, etc. either on my smartphone or computer and it would automatically be in both places. Although I'm a Palm user, people use other types of phone/PDA devices such as Blackberries and the infamous iPhone. These devices have all kinds of software applications or "apps," for everything from GPS to calorie counters, spreadsheets, music players, etc. I also happen to have a couple of astronomy related apps on my PDA.

However, the main extra app I use on my PDA is my Bible program. In fact, it has become the main Bible I use. I have four different translations of the entire Scripture (one with pretty extensive study notes), as well as five different other resources, like Bible commentaries & dictionaries. In addition to that I have a daily reader program, and one that has the Revised Common Lectionary Readings, which I often consult for sermon preparation. I always have my PDA/smartphone with me and use the Bible program on it for devotional readings, references to specific Scriptures, etc. Consequently, I almost never carry around a bound Bible, and rarely open one even in my study (where I have a multitude of copies on my shelf).

Often when I'm preaching or leading a devotional, I'll pull out my device and read away. Most people find it amusing. However, some people object to it. Somehow or another, some folks think a Bible's not really a Bible unless it's contained in a book, and maybe only then if it's a soft leather cover with gilded edges. To think that something like a computer or "phone" could contain the Word of God seems somehow unholy or disrespectful.

I think this is pretty ridiculous. The notion that the text of Scripture has to be welded to a particular method of transmission, rather than spreading the Word, actually becomes a hindrance to it. Otherwise we would never have used a printing press to print books and we'd still be reading Scriptures on papyri or scrolls (Can you picture folks having a holster for their scrolls on their belt?). And while we're at it, we'd better not translate the Scriptures into a more modern vernacular (or language) that everybody understands. Some folks do object to this, and think that we need to use the King James Version, translated in 17th century England. But why approve of that translation? Why not make everyone learn to read Koine Greek, the language in which the New Testament was written (or Hebrew for the Old Testament)? The whole point of any translation is to make the Scripture accessible and intelligible to people. And quibbling about the medium of communication is even more silly. The same words that can be read printed on a page can be read on a screen.

And that's not all. Palm PDA's, computers, iPhones, Blackberries, and cell phones are the very places where we ought to put the Word of God since that's exactly where people live. Putting the Scripture on their PDA's right next to their calorie counters and all the rest can help integrate it into daily life. The Bible ought not to be kept only in one means of transmission that might be outmoded for an increasing number of people.

The important thing is that our lives are shaped by Scripture. And for many (including me), to be able to read it on a device that is always with me provides a way to experience that.